Sliney Central

Fr. Michael Sliney, LC

Inspirational thoughts

Hot chocholate

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

“Doing little things with a strong desire to please God makes them really great.”  – St. Francis De Sales.

    It was a little thing, but it meant a lot to me and my 2 brothers.  Whenever a major winter storm hit in Michigan, my brothers and I would gather up our shovels and spend the day shoveling our own long driveway and then our neighbors for a few dollars.  It was cold, the snow was heavy, and at the end of the day our backs were aching and arms were sore.   As we walked in the door, my mom greeted us with a warm smile and a huge mug of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows floating at the top.  The pain seemed to melt away.  Thanks mom!!

7 tips for a strong marriage

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7 Tips for a Strong Marriage,

1. God needs to be at the center: The focus should be centered on loving God above all things and growing in this love as a couple.  My mom recently said to me, “Michael, if you love God how can anything be hard?”  If the Lord is accompanying and blessing your marriage, it will bear fruit.  I also recommend praying for each other, especially when you know your spouse is going through some hard times.

2. Marital intimacy
– This is way that most men connect and communicate with women…they need this validation.  It should not be used as a weapon to punish your spouse (unless there is a really serious reason) or as a means of manipulation to obtain what you desire.  It does not always have to be romantic and a big production, but it is a critical component for a healthy relationship.
– Men need to understand that for most women, this is an act of charity towards their husbands and they generally find more validation in emotional and conversational connection and affirmation.  It is easier for a wife to meet his physical intimacy needs, if her emotional needs are also being met.

3. Date night/time together: It may be expensive to go out to a nice restaurant, a hassle to get dressed up, and difficult to have quality conversations, but in the long run this will be cheaper and less time consuming then paying for counseling or even divorce settlements!  This shows that your marriage is a priority and gives the husband and the wife the necessary quality time to bond.  It is so important to do fun and meaningful things together (Playing golf or tennis, cooking or gardening, going to the opera or museums, etc…). Guys also need time with the guys and gals need time with the gals!

4. Empathetic communication: Husbands need to learn to listen with sincere love, focused attention (cell phones aside) and warm empathy to their wives “as long as necessary.” Wives should respect their husband’s need for cave time, and try to avoid nagging and prodding when he is obviously not in a good mood.  The words that you say and the tone with which you say those words matter!!

5. Love them in the way that they need to be loved, not in the way that you prefer to love.  I recommend “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman as a great resource to discover your spouses love language (Words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch).

6. Unity in parenting- to have each other’s backs and to avoid making one spouse the perennial “bad cop.”  Kids needs to see that you are governing from a united front!

7. Respect and recognition- to value the effort and love that each spouse makes in both parenting and providing for the family.  Don’t focus on the negative or what is missing, but affirm the positive and express it often.  You can never say these words enough: “I love you” and “I am so grateful for who you are and what you do”!!

*Finally, so many happily married couples have recommended “holy amnesia” as a key component to marriage, so I composed this simple poem to drive this point home.

Holy amnesia is the key

For matrimony to succeed.

For all the snores, complaints and moans,

Excessive focus on the phone,

Harsh words coupled with hurtful tones,

Spending? Far too many bank loans!

Tooth paste tubes curled the wrong way,

Not listening to what “I say”,

Preparing the coffee “your way”,

Trifles, troubles, trials each day.

Focus on the positive! Please!

The virtues are what you should see!

Holy amnesia? Certainly!!

But, LOVE unconditionally!

God bless,

Fr. Michael Sliney, LC

Sunday best

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

     “Children should never be taken to church in dress that would not be thought good enough for appearing before company. ” (St. John Baptiste de la Salle)

    As kids, we all knew that we were expected to wear our “Sunday best” for Mass.  Jesus Christ, God himself, is present in the tabernacle and during Holy Communion he comes directly into our hearts.  He deserves this minimal sign of respect.!

Details of Love

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

     “An egg given during life for love of God is more profitable for eternity than a cathedral full of gold given after death.”  (St. Albert the Great)

     I had the privilege of marrying my mom to her 2nd husband (who also died 2 years ago, My dad died in 1995…).   On the day of the wedding, I walked to St. Hugo of the Hills Church, to prepare my homily and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament.   Thirty minutes before the Mass, I heard a loud crackling of thunder and lightning and it soon began pouring rain.  I forgot my umbrella back at the house and I still had to walk another 1/4 mile down the hill to the chapel…not a good situation.  Within minutes my mom came into the chapel with a large umbrella and a warm smile, quietly saying;  “Michael, I have to finish getting ready, but I thought you might need this umbrella…it is raining awfully hard out there.”   How could she think of this on the day of her wedding?  This is love!!

Satan’s snares

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

“Like a good chess player, Satan is always trying to maneuver you into a position where you can save your castle only by losing your bishop.”  CS Lewis

    Sophisms, justifications, excuses, giving yourself a pass…often lead to trouble.  Big sins don’t just happen out of nowhere.   You make small concessions here and there, losing a few pawns and before you know it, you have a major “issue.”  Daily prayer, frequent Mass and Confession give you the wisdom to make the right moves and read the devil’s traps.  Don’t play this game without Christ, you will eventually lose!

God’s plan

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

“The Supernatual is not remote and abstruse: it is a matter of daily and hourly experience: as intimate as breathing.  Denial of it depends on a certain abscent-mindedness. But this abscent-mindedness is in no way surprising.” CS Lewis

    God truly cares and he acts continuously in our lives, but we need to be attentive to read the signs.  One day, I was going for an early morning jog and I had a lot on my mind.   Suddenly, as I turned a corner, I passed a jogger with only one arm.   He had a big smile on his face and gave me the thumbs up…a simple gesture but it helped me put my small problems in perspective.  So many signs and moments of God’s mercy…thank you, Lord for being so involved in our daily lives!!

Unfurl the sails

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Thy Kingdom Come!

Dear Friends in Christ,

“Unfurl the sails, and let God steer us where He will.” – St. Bede

    My older brother, Jim, invited me once on his catamaran sailboat when I was in 8th grade.  I was a little intimidated and afraid, but he assured me that he had everything under control and that it would be amazing…and after a few minutes of cruising along, we caught a big gust of wind, and we were airborne like this picture above.   This is my life as a priest,…I unfurl the sails each morning, knowing Christ is at the helm, and the adventure begins!